Wizzairsucks Founder issues an Open-Letter to József Váradi offering peace

// March 25th, 2010 // frontpage

Having been unable to leavpeacee his room for the past 9 months for fear of corporate reprisal and shear & overwhelming lack of a budget airline to carry his person across state lines. The Wizzairsucks founder has written an open-letter stating his wish for an armistice to his Wizzair counterpart József Váradi:

Dear Josef,

I would first like to apologize for casting aspersions toward yourself regarding your prospects for entrance to the kingdom of heaven in our latest poll.  This was childish and unfair.

That aside, I am still saddened by your reluctance to contact me directly, either personally or through various corporate vassals. To date I have only had indirect contact through your legal apparat and an ongoing Wikipedia edit/reedit freenzy.

I would like to suggest we cast aside our differences and attempt to form a more perfect union. Wizzairsucks has had its day, it has come and gone. It is true, we have become the defacto customer service for Wizzair, however, due to my own ineptness and lack of time, I am unable and unwilling to continue in my current capacity.

Let us stop the hate, simply.

I have spent these 9 months sitting alone in my room unable to find a decent budget airline to escape my European enclave. The death of Skyeurope deeply threatens my social prospects and I have had to curtail certain deviant liaisons of late.

I would like to suggest a truce.

  1. Return the money to my parents for the two flights not taken from Dortmund <-> Lviv as well as compensation for the subsequent and forced overnight train journey
  2. Write a simple (just short of heart wrenching) apology to them for their negative experience and ensuing plight
  3. Apologize to me for the unnecessary domain arbitration
  4. Compensation for the 1 week of work on the 96 page legal opus I was forced to prepare in my defense
  5. (Optional) Sensitivity training for Dortmund employees to refrain from demeaning and all-in-compassing statements such as “This is Germany, this is not Eastern Europe… ” and “I don’t know [in italy, romania, czech republic] maybe they don’t know how to follow the [wizzair] rules”

If you agree to the preceding terms, I will throw down my arms… and retire Wizzairsucks onto the spike and oblivion of history.

7 Responses to “Wizzairsucks Founder issues an Open-Letter to József Váradi offering peace”

  1. Jimmy says:
    March 25, 2010 at 8:49 am

    Man, that’s some fucked up righteous shit man. Josef would be ill not to listen to your sweet tunes and redress hisself. Good luck man… Word.

    Reply
  2. Georgie says:
    September 22, 2011 at 12:25 pm

    LOVE THIS WEBSITE. SO TRUE YET FUNNY.

    Reply
  3. mark says:
    August 11, 2012 at 3:42 am

    i’m looking for an emial adress that i can send to mangement or somebody outside the normal callcenter numbers they give you. i’m trying to 50bucks back after the operator never told me there was a 500buck limit. either jozef or the other bananna there chris collins. ?? thanks for any help.

    Reply
    • Alex says:
      August 14, 2012 at 12:21 pm

      Good luck with that as they never get back to anyone within 30 days even if you call. There is no email anywhere and as soon as one leaks they take it offline.

      Reply
  4. Narges says:
    September 11, 2012 at 2:13 pm

    I know this is Short notice weheatr is going to be Fantastic tomorrow going for a ride to Florence, Coolidge and back to Catalina. It is the same route we will ride on the 3rd of Dec for the Toy Drive/Poker Run. Meeting at the Players Pub on Oracle in Catalina Sat the 29th at 10am kickstands up at 10:30. Hop[e some can make it.King Rat

    Reply
  5. anonymous says:
    August 28, 2013 at 9:22 am

    we should take all his domain names from wizzair. They cant reserve them forever. Or we just put al their sites offline by DDoS just for a month or two. Nobody will get their money back, but it will teach them a leason and it wil cost them tons of money.

    However the rules for changing names on a ticket because THEY allow people to fill in the wrong information will cost you your flight or about 120 euro p.person. Nice way to start your holiday!!!

    Im guessing that the american investment company has no clue about the bad name they’ve got by Wizzair.

    Im thinking of boycotting them… And with lots of knowledge we can.

    So F*** Y** wizzair… some day i will laugh last…-> and its not because i dont get the clue of the joke…

    I have to hold back for know but im home next week and I deffinitly gonna start some shit… !

    József Váradi –> some people will go to heaven.. –> ill be waiting for you in hell. You cant treat people this way…Even when you think you’ll be safe on your own plane —>> watch out… !!

    lots of love and all the best for your future :-)

    Reply
  6. Stan says:
    February 21, 2014 at 4:46 am

    Wizzairsucks sucks

    Reply

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